The World According to Ethan (aged 3 / 4)

The superhero:
Mummy, my superpowers are finding things with a torch, being naughty, and pewing (making gun noises)…

The superhero softie:
Mummy, my superpowers are finding things with a torch, being naughty, and pewing… and cuddling you.

The comedian:
Mummy: What sound does “car” start with?
Ethan: Vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmm

The argumentative:
Mummy: Ethan, can you stop calling me “bummy”?
Ethan: Well, you are bummy, to be fair.

The philosopher:
If you talk, do you exist?

The sweetheart:
Mummy: Ethan, do you like spending time with Mummy?
Ethan: I like shutting things in my face!

The Star Wars fan:
He’s funny, that little guy Yoda. Very funny.

The Highway Code-observer:
Mummy: Ethan, can you see that horse on the road?
Ethan: Yes, Mummy, but he’s not allowed to go more than 40

The cheese-lover:
Mummy, what’s an omnivore?
– Someone who eats everything, so meat and plants
And cheese?

The joker:
Do you know what rabbits and cats and pigeons and birds are rubbish at?… Clapping

The casual:
Daddy: How do you fancy beans on toast for lunch?
Ethan: Yeah that works for me

The innocent wordplayer:
Mummy, you’re an egg wanker…

The stubborn:
(On Daddy trying to explain negotiating during a “discussion”): I am not negotiating! You’re negotiating!

The “knows-his-place-in-the-family-pecking-order”:
Whenever mummy’s not around, I am the boss

3 yr old

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Author: Al Lane

Writer, Poet, Daydreamer

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