The World According to Ethan (aged 2)

The pedant:
Mummy: Is that a monkey, Ethan?
Ethan: No. Chimpanzee, mummy.

The left-field questioner:
Where are monkey eyelashes? Mummy mend it.

The charmer:
I farters parters.

The worrier:
(Ethan trying to find his Bob the Builder toy)
Mummy: Don’t worry, we’ll find him.
Ethan: I do worry.

The decisive:
Mummy: Ethan, what do you want for lunch?
Ethan: Burger and chips. In the pub.

The narrator:
(During a silent sequence in Wall-E)
What’s that? Where’s the spaceship going? Who is that? Where’s he going to?

The boss:
(Through the baby monitor) Mummy, I’ve finished sleeping now. You come get me out of bed.

The storyteller:
Where is Elliott? (our cat) I’ve got some stories to tell her.

The seasonal:
Daddy: If there are lots of leaves on the ground, what time of year is it?
Ethan: Running time!

The listener:
(Furtling under the table) What’s that noise? It sounds like a sock noise.

The romantic:
Mummy: I love you, Ethan.
Ethan: I know. It’s really annoying.

The budding David Attenborough:
Ethan: What do animals do on the grass?
Mummy: Animals eat grass, Ethan.
Ethan: Hmm, that’s interesting Mummy!

The giver:
Mummy, I have a present for you. In my nappy.

2 yr old

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Author: Al Lane

Writer, Poet, Daydreamer

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