The Jobs Fair

Another set of lyrics for what could be an autobiographical C&W song… Hope you enjoy!

Went down to the jobs fair
To find myself a job
Went down to the jobs fair
’cause I’m no lazy slob

The lady at the jobs fair
Asked me about my skills
That lady at the job fair
Asked what gives me thrills

I said to the job fair lady
“Well, I like writing rhymes
It may not seem like much to you
But it passes all my time”

Well, the lady at the job fair
She pushed a little more
“I know you’re outta work now,
But what’d you do before?”

And I stood there at the job fair
And I described it thus:
“Every day I stood up
To get knocked down by a bus

And as I lay there bleeding
The crows would peck my eyes
And the foxes there would feast on
A tender soul surprise”

Now maybe that’s a stretch,
But that’s just the way I felt
Working for the big man
Play-ing the hand I’m dealt

There’s gotta be a better way
To live an honest life
I just wanna feed my family
My two boys and my wife

So I said to the job fair lady,
“Can’t I write for cash?
My family’s needs are simple.
Nothing all that flash.”

Well, the lady at the job fair,
She laughed right in my face.
“Poems sell for pennies!
You gotta get back in the race”

Well, if poems sell for pennies,
Then I’ll just write some more
Yes, if my poems sell for pennies
I’ll write a whole bunch more

 

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Picture credit: flickr.com/photos/51550312

The Two-Minute Manager – 2 – LOVE

Here’s the second update from guest blogger, See Ye-Oh, with her unique take on all things romantic…

“With Valentine’s Day mercifully receding into the distance behind us, some thoughts for you on mixing love and work:

A leadership tip:
Beware of Valentine’s Day
Lessers WILL love you

Love is a weakness
Bond only with the useful
To drive you forward

Change your perspective
See compromise as failure
Assert your vision

Hearts break
Flowers die
Clear your vision
Touch the sky”

 

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The Two Minute Manager – 1

One of the things that happens when you write a lot of haiku, is that you make friends with others who are similarly afflicted. One person I came across on my haiku travels is quite unlike any other… After many emails to agree an appropriate fee, he is writing a series for my blog, with complete editorial control of content… So please give a warm welcome to See Yi-Oh, management guru!

“Some people who consider themselves managers have read, studied and memorised the influential 80s text, One Minute Manager. Idiots! One minute isn’t long enough to take a dump. If these people had spent twice the time, they’d be twice the manager.

“Why not three minutes, or even ten, you ask? Because time is money, and you’re worth every penny. Even if you did have to ask that.

“I’ve agreed to post some thoughts here on what I’ve learnt from business, commerce and leadership, in two-minute digestible chunks. Forget the rest. This is the only management guide you’ll ever need. It will be packed full of insight to remind you why you’re the boss, and to take it to the next level.

“Why write it in haiku? Because time is money, and you’re worth every penny.

Haiku is a whetstone to sharpen your dull wits.

No flab. Read. Learn. Achieve.”

Always be well-groomed:
Your image is everything.
Sweat is for lessers.

The lessers will flap
(Panic, fret, freeze, moan, chunter)
Stay unflappable.

Practice the hard stare.
When asked difficult questions,
Wield it freely.

“More next week. Stick it in the diary.

“See you!

See Yi-Oh x

https://twominutemanagerblog.wordpress.com/

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Back on the Bus

Back on the bus.
It’s been a while.
Iron the shirt.
Paint on smile.

Kids off to school.
Wife drives to work.
Last one out.
Only perk.

Walk to the stop.
No one there.
Bus due in two.
Stand and stare.

Bus pulls up.
Choose my seat.
Wrinkle nose.
Sweat in heat.

Back on the bus.
The bus is back.
Track-led life.
My life on track.

 

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Picture credit: flickr.com/photos/thelightningman/7611029216

 

 

Haiku – "Cover"

#1
Covered in glory,
For other people’s triumphs
Monkey climbs the tree

#2
Walking through the woods
We get covered up in leaves
Doing what feels right

#3
However it seems,
Life’s not a cover version
So write your own song

Written for: https://haikuhorizons.wordpress.com/2015/12/20/haiku-horizons-prompt-cover/

haikuhorizons

5 Reasons I'd Like To Give For NOT Going To Work Tomorrow

Reasons I’d like to give for not going back to work tomorrow, after the summer holidays:

1- I need a few more days growth on my holiday beard before I can be seen in public with it

2- My tan is peeling. That’s a medical thing, right?

3- My body’s still on Venezuelan time (true, we didn’t leave the country, but no one needs to know that)

4- My cat is still angry after spending a week with the in-laws. I need time to re-bond.

5- The laundry mountain toppled over, pinning me to the floor (wearing emergency underwear… My mother will be ashamed)

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https://www.flickr.com/photos/thecarol/2406514773 /Creative Commons… although I have an identical pair of flip-flops… 🙂

Heading In To Work (poem)

I want to be a slug-a-bed
Sleeping in my nice warm bed
But now I’m on the bus instead
Heading in to work

Thoughts are swimming round my head
About the stupid things I said
But now I’m on the bus instead
Heading in to work

I feel I’m hanging by a thread
Like butter scraped on too much bread
And now I’m on the bus instead
Heading in to work

My mind turns to the day with dread
A thousand messages unread
Because now I’m on the bus instead
Heading in to work

I wish I’d ran, I wish I’d fled
But now I’m on the bus instead
But now I’m on the bus instead
Heading in to work

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Creative Commons

Haiku Challenge #53 – "Guide" & "Mad"

This is the latest weekly challenge from Ronovan, with the prompts “guide” and “mad”. I had a lot of fun with these words. Hope you do too!

#1
The madness of crowds
Guides the fool to dusty death,
Forsaking wisdom

#2
Bureaucrat’s madness:
Thousand page guidance info.
Welcome to my work

#3
Set aside youth’s doubt;
The madness of difference.
Let love be your guide

#4
A moment’s stillness:
Guide the soul to harmony.
Set madness aside

#5
Here’s Tour Guide Barbie,
Mad hair, camo gear and gun…
Brother’s makeover

RonovanWrites #Weekly #Haiku #Poetry Prompt #Challenge #53 Guide&Mad

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I Just Wanna Be Noticed (poem)

I just wanna be noticed,
Sat here on the train,
Weekend’s royal rainbows
Still swirling round my brain.

I just wanna be noticed,
For all I do round here.
Endless hours of effort.
Every day of the year.

I just wanna be noticed:
A smile, a nod, or a wave.
I don’t want you to worship me
A thank you’s all I crave.

I just wanna be noticed:
Bring me into your sun.
A lifetime in the shadows
Is not good for anyone.

I just want you to notice me,
I’ve so much more to give.
I just wanna be noticed.
I just wanna live.

shy
Image Creative Commons: Katie Tegtmayer