The Two-Minute Manager – 4

Another dose of management and leadership advice from the somewhat cynical mind of guest blogger, See Yi-Oh… You only have yourselves to blame if you follow this advice!

Attending Operational Meetings

Show your importance
To the lessers in the room:
Head down and email

Gift them your presence
But deny them eye contact.
Who knows where that leads?

Strategy

Are you strategic?
There’s always scope to up-think.
Be more strategic.

Any report that’s
Longer than a page in length,
Isn’t for your eyes.

The true strategic
Does not think in words, numbers:
Start to think in shapes.

 

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The Two-Minute Manager – 3

Another dose of management and leadership advice from the somewhat cynical mind of guest blogger, See Yi-Oh… Am starting to see where I’m going wrong…

Meeting etiquette

Never take minutes,
Except for the Chief Exec.
For them, anything.

Sit at table’s head
Dominate the meeting room
Keep all eyes on you.

Words can be weapons
But make your body language
First line of attack:

Fold your arms and scowl.
Whatever’s been reported
Extend the silence,

Draw out that silence.
Lessers will panic, back down,
Offer more for less.

 

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The Two Minute Manager – 1

One of the things that happens when you write a lot of haiku, is that you make friends with others who are similarly afflicted. One person I came across on my haiku travels is quite unlike any other… After many emails to agree an appropriate fee, he is writing a series for my blog, with complete editorial control of content… So please give a warm welcome to See Yi-Oh, management guru!

“Some people who consider themselves managers have read, studied and memorised the influential 80s text, One Minute Manager. Idiots! One minute isn’t long enough to take a dump. If these people had spent twice the time, they’d be twice the manager.

“Why not three minutes, or even ten, you ask? Because time is money, and you’re worth every penny. Even if you did have to ask that.

“I’ve agreed to post some thoughts here on what I’ve learnt from business, commerce and leadership, in two-minute digestible chunks. Forget the rest. This is the only management guide you’ll ever need. It will be packed full of insight to remind you why you’re the boss, and to take it to the next level.

“Why write it in haiku? Because time is money, and you’re worth every penny.

Haiku is a whetstone to sharpen your dull wits.

No flab. Read. Learn. Achieve.”

Always be well-groomed:
Your image is everything.
Sweat is for lessers.

The lessers will flap
(Panic, fret, freeze, moan, chunter)
Stay unflappable.

Practice the hard stare.
When asked difficult questions,
Wield it freely.

“More next week. Stick it in the diary.

“See you!

See Yi-Oh x

https://twominutemanagerblog.wordpress.com/

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Coming Up!

I’ve settled into a regular-ish blogging routine now, based around a handful of challenges that I enjoy, and that tolerate my continued wibbling. So, in an attempt to manage my own time as much as your fervent expectations (honestly, it’s like Beatlemania meets Biebermania every time I step out of my own front door), this is what you can expect each day, between now and April (when the poem-a-day blogging challenge kicks in, and I cry myself to sleep every day for failing to prepare despite having no excuse this year).

The BIG NEWS is that I have secured an exciting guest blogger to come and join me every Monday until April… See Yi-Oh will be sharing the benefits of his business nous (in haiku form, obviously) in a new series “The Two-Minute Manager“. I hope you’ll give him a warm welcome when he joins me tomorrow!

MONDAY – Limerick Challenge / The Two-Minute Manager

TUESDAY – Haiku Challenges – Ronovan & haiku horizons

WEDNESDAY – Secret Keeper’s Challenge

THURSDAY – Pop-Culture Thursday… the name needs work, but it’ll be something rhyme-y whyme-y, about something pop-culture-y

FRIDAY – The Great Book of Lists

WEEKENDS – no planned posts, unless for a specific challenge. I’ll be spending Saturdays entirely offline. Go and have some outdoor fun, people!

Plus there will be other bouts of randomness as and when inspiration strikes.

If there are any burning topics, ignored by better poets, that you think need covering in rhyme, let me know below the line 🙂

 

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The scene outside my front door every morning… makes the commute to work a challenge…

Picture credit: flickr.com/photos/jamescridland/613445810