Haiku – Magic

Each stolen snowflake,
A sweet moment on the tongue
Lover’s farewell kiss

 

Ronovan blogged earlier this week about a new form of haiku and free verse, which he’s calling freku. He explains it like this:

By taking a standard poem … and then attempting to sum that poem up in the three lines of a Haiku, you have quite a challenge. It is almost like developing a proverb of an idea.

There is some more information here:Β https://ronovanwrites.wordpress.com/2015/12/08/new-form-of-haiku-poetry/

This is my attempt at this. The above haiku should be read in conjunction with the “magic” poem published earlier today – https://altheauthor.wordpress.com/2015/12/10/magic/Β . I’m fairly happy with both versions, in different ways. The poem allows more depth and narrative around the situation, and the haiku takes a snapshot of the central moment and crystallizes that.

Would love to hear any thoughts that you have on either or both poems πŸ™‚

 

Photo: flickr.com/photos/reallyterriblephotographer/4839625065

4839625065_bbca03efd9_z

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Author: Al Lane

Writer, Poet, Daydreamer

22 thoughts on “Haiku – Magic”

  1. At the start of the new year, I am going to be posting short poems once a week. One of my goals is to learn how to be more precise with my words – to not waste a single one. I think your poems really illustrate that point. The second poem, the haiku, tells the same story as the original but in a few lines. I think both poems are really good, and it honestly amazes me that you could condense your poem so well!

    1. Thank you! I’ve been doing Ronovan’s weekly haiku challenge for some time now, and that’s really helped me to practice this word precision. I’ve written a LOT of haiku this last 12 months!

      1. You’re welcome.

        I follow Ronovan’s challenges too, but I haven’t actually tried one myself. For some reason, I just struggle when I try to write something with parameters (like using specific words). I have been writing a lot of haikus, however, since I wrote one in the Blogging University Writing 201 class. I don’t know what it is, but I’m a little obsessed with the form right now.

        Are your haikus posted on this blog? I would love to read them.

  2. Your haiku is magical and the free verse fills in the details of the lovers’ story. Combined you have written an excellent freku, Al. Hope to see more of them. Interesting form of poetry.

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