Friday Funnies… in haiku!

Anyone else feel that the haiku is a sorely under-used medium for fun and Friday frolics? Oh, just me then… Well, you’re here now: let me know what you make of these! πŸ™‚

Read dictionary.
I thought it was a poem.
About everything.

Money talks.
But all mine says
Is goodbye.

We grew up dirt poor.
I started out with nothing.
Still have most of it…

Algebra of love:
When you look at your X
And you wonder Y

My therapist says
I’m obsessed with vengeance.
We’ll see about that.

Rabbit in the woods
Stands with the sun at his back.
Makes human shadows.

Finished world’s biggest
Jigsaw puzzle this morning.
Last piece was missing

Mafia hitman
Killed a local mime artist.
Used a silencer



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67 thoughts on “Friday Funnies… in haiku!”

  1. Hahaha! I read the first and thought “that’s my favorite!” until I read the second, and said, “oh, wait, this is my favorite!” and so on down the line…they are all awesome!!

  2. Well, well, well, here is a rising star! He’s here all week folks, try the veal! (tips your wait staff)

  3. Most excellent! These are by far the best haikus I’ve read for a long time & certainly on a par with the classic Windows error haikus of many years ago. They feel like the brilliant one-liners that Stewart Francis & Tim Vine come out with – but they’re haikus as well. Tick, gold star, best boy of the week badge. πŸ™‚

    1. I’ll have to research Francis and Vine, and “convert” their words into haiku… Glad you liked it. But surely you mean the best haikus you’ve read since the last one I published on Weds, right? πŸ˜‰

      1. Gee, looks like I am in good company, what with all these other fine folks who can spot talent when it shines… (just sayin)

  4. Well, I needed the cheering up too. And these haikus were great Al. As usual, I should say, but… the laugh out loud, snort through your nose sort of great.

    My favourite ones (Yes, no way I can have just one!) 2, 3, 5 and 8.
    I didn’t really get #1. Maybe because I did use to read the dictionary for fun, to see where it took me? I guess I’m not too good at self- humour. Maybe because I need to rebuild self-esteem after it was shattered by the ex. And today I thought about the ex, which is why I needed the laughs you so generously provided, so thank you for that, but yeah, #1 didn’t do it for me.

    I’m a geek, so #4 I’d already seen versions of before, plus made me think of the ex and the reading I did this morning, so… see comment above πŸ˜‰

    But thank you for the laughs. Let me go back to my favourites πŸ™‚


    1. Thanks Dawn… I claim no originality for any of these ideas – some have been doing the rounds for years! I’ve just dredged them from my brain and made them into haiku form

      1. Really? I’d only just heard the ‘X and Y’ one before. Told you I’m a nerd πŸ˜‰
        Your haiku forms are just perfect for these ideas. How to make someone laugh in 20 words or less.
        You have a gift Al. πŸ˜€

    1. Ironically, #7 was where this all started! My three year old loves jigsaws, and he finished one last week, all except for the last piece which was missing (it was only on the floor, but it was enough to upset him for a minute or two). I thought – what if you’d just finished a million-billion-piece jigsaw and the same thing happened… but the other piece WASN’T on the floor!

      1. Ha! that is funny. Your comment is the prose for a haibun (combined with number 7). Reason I didn’t get it is that I took “complete” (or was it “finish”) literally, so I didn’t understand how 1 piece could still be missing.

        1. That’s understandable… not a lot of room to explain in a haiku! If I’d published this one on its own, then maybe (just maybe!) I would have relaxed my “no haibun” rule! πŸ™‚

    1. There’s a danger that if you mix the word “FUnny” and “haiKU” that you could end up somewhere unpleasant! Ooh, I wonder if I could “haiku-ise” some Python sketches… πŸ™‚

  5. This is great! Really, really funny – you nailed it. Now here I though the Limericks were for all the silly stuff. You have a great sense of humor. Don’t even try to make me pick a favorite! πŸ™‚

    1. Okay then, I won’t! I think haikus can be used for so much more than ponderous, occasionally beautiful, meditations on nature (which seems to be the default)… hopefully enough others agree with me to keep me writing them! πŸ™‚

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