The World According to Ethan (aged 3 / 4)

The superhero:
Mummy, my superpowers are finding things with a torch, being naughty, and pewing (making gun noises)…

The superhero softie:
Mummy, my superpowers are finding things with a torch, being naughty, and pewing… and cuddling you.

The comedian:
Mummy: What sound does “car” start with?
Ethan: Vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmm

The argumentative:
Mummy: Ethan, can you stop calling me “bummy”?
Ethan: Well, you are bummy, to be fair.

The philosopher:
If you talk, do you exist?

The sweetheart:
Mummy: Ethan, do you like spending time with Mummy?
Ethan: I like shutting things in my face!

The Star Wars fan:
He’s funny, that little guy Yoda. Very funny.

The Highway Code-observer:
Mummy: Ethan, can you see that horse on the road?
Ethan: Yes, Mummy, but he’s not allowed to go more than 40

The cheese-lover:
Mummy, what’s an omnivore?
– Someone who eats everything, so meat and plants
And cheese?

The joker:
Do you know what rabbits and cats and pigeons and birds are rubbish at?… Clapping

The casual:
Daddy: How do you fancy beans on toast for lunch?
Ethan: Yeah that works for me

The innocent wordplayer:
Mummy, you’re an egg wanker…

The stubborn:
(On Daddy trying to explain negotiating during a “discussion”): I am not negotiating! You’re negotiating!

The “knows-his-place-in-the-family-pecking-order”:
Whenever mummy’s not around, I am the boss

3 yr old

The World According to Ethan (aged 2)

The pedant:
Mummy: Is that a monkey, Ethan?
Ethan: No. Chimpanzee, mummy.

The left-field questioner:
Where are monkey eyelashes? Mummy mend it.

The charmer:
I farters parters.

The worrier:
(Ethan trying to find his Bob the Builder toy)
Mummy: Don’t worry, we’ll find him.
Ethan: I do worry.

The decisive:
Mummy: Ethan, what do you want for lunch?
Ethan: Burger and chips. In the pub.

The narrator:
(During a silent sequence in Wall-E)
What’s that? Where’s the spaceship going? Who is that? Where’s he going to?

The boss:
(Through the baby monitor) Mummy, I’ve finished sleeping now. You come get me out of bed.

The storyteller:
Where is Elliott? (our cat) I’ve got some stories to tell her.

The seasonal:
Daddy: If there are lots of leaves on the ground, what time of year is it?
Ethan: Running time!

The listener:
(Furtling under the table) What’s that noise? It sounds like a sock noise.

The romantic:
Mummy: I love you, Ethan.
Ethan: I know. It’s really annoying.

The budding David Attenborough:
Ethan: What do animals do on the grass?
Mummy: Animals eat grass, Ethan.
Ethan: Hmm, that’s interesting Mummy!

The giver:
Mummy, I have a present for you. In my nappy.

2 yr old