I believe that children are the future,
But they’re saddled with our past.
Good times are here to stay.
It’s a shame they never last
NO LAUGHING. No licking
No bogey picking
No hissing, no hitting
No scaring, no spitting
No tugging, no talking
No weaving or walking
No crawling, no creeping
No classroom sleeping
No running, no roaring
And no being boring
No bashing, no bumping
No back of head thumping
No sliming, no squelching
No burping or belching
No smelling the roses,
No picking your noses
No cleaning and eating the fluff from your toeses
No furtling or fooling
No down-your-front drooling
No hiding, no seeking
No cheating or peaking
No fire, no ice
No “acting all nice”
No climbing, no cussing
No farting or fussing
AND NO EATING THE TEACHER!
Mummy, my superpowers are finding things with a torch, being naughty, and pewing (making gun noises)…
The superhero softie:
Mummy, my superpowers are finding things with a torch, being naughty, and pewing… and cuddling you.
Mummy: What sound does “car” start with?
Mummy: Ethan, can you stop calling me “bummy”?
Ethan: Well, you are bummy, to be fair.
If you talk, do you exist?
Mummy: Ethan, do you like spending time with Mummy?
Ethan: I like shutting things in my face!
The Star Wars fan:
He’s funny, that little guy Yoda. Very funny.
The Highway Code-observer:
Mummy: Ethan, can you see that horse on the road?
Ethan: Yes, Mummy, but he’s not allowed to go more than 40
Mummy, what’s an omnivore?
– Someone who eats everything, so meat and plants
Do you know what rabbits and cats and pigeons and birds are rubbish at?… Clapping
Daddy: How do you fancy beans on toast for lunch?
Ethan: Yeah that works for me
The innocent wordplayer:
Mummy, you’re an egg wanker…
(On Daddy trying to explain negotiating during a “discussion”): I am not negotiating! You’re negotiating!
Whenever mummy’s not around, I am the boss
Mummy: Is that a monkey, Ethan?
Ethan: No. Chimpanzee, mummy.
The left-field questioner:
Where are monkey eyelashes? Mummy mend it.
I farters parters.
(Ethan trying to find his Bob the Builder toy)
Mummy: Don’t worry, we’ll find him.
Ethan: I do worry.
Mummy: Ethan, what do you want for lunch?
Ethan: Burger and chips. In the pub.
(During a silent sequence in Wall-E)
What’s that? Where’s the spaceship going? Who is that? Where’s he going to?
(Through the baby monitor) Mummy, I’ve finished sleeping now. You come get me out of bed.
Where is Elliott? (our cat) I’ve got some stories to tell her.
Daddy: If there are lots of leaves on the ground, what time of year is it?
Ethan: Running time!
(Furtling under the table) What’s that noise? It sounds like a sock noise.
Mummy: I love you, Ethan.
Ethan: I know. It’s really annoying.
The budding David Attenborough:
Ethan: What do animals do on the grass?
Mummy: Animals eat grass, Ethan.
Ethan: Hmm, that’s interesting Mummy!
Mummy, I have a present for you. In my nappy.
You had me at “akimbo” ! Great list – shared for fellow word hoarders
Got a great idea for a children’s book, but not sure what type of book is appropriate? Check out this summary of the difference between picture books, chapter books, and middle grade novels. (Reblogged here partly so I can bookmark this for my own reference!)